Told



The follow-up conversation wasn't quite what I'd expected. Sure the moon was full and beautiful in a  clear sky and I had my questions ready. I let the dogs off their leads to run around, I looked up and asked,'So is this what I should do?'...silence. 'Um...so...what should I do next?'...silence.

So I shut up and listened. Not for answers, but for - with respect - what Sister Moon actually wanted to say. It went, as they say, a little bit like this:

SM: 
Me: What?
SM:
Me: I'm sorry, what?
SM: Let me in. Shut up, open up, and let me shine through you for a moment.

So I did. And in a split second the following dialogue had happened:

SM: What exactly do you want to know?
Me: How someone like me can do what I'm feeling I should do.
SM: "Someone like you"?
Me: Well, here I am, freezing my bits off in a field and not happy about it; cross with the dogs because they won't get on and do what they're supposed to be doing; crabby with my child because she only wants to eat crappy food; living in a house full of mud and ash and dust and fur and piles of laundry and paper and general chaos; trying to be all serene'n'shit and failing miserably; tearing my hair out over money; and just wanting to sit in front of the telly with wine and cake to watch something escapist, preferably starring David Tennant.
SM: Your point is?
Me: My point is that I'm thinking about going 'full-on hedgewitch' and frankly I don't see how the hell I can do it. I'm a mess. My life's chaotic. I'm not exactly a role model for anything except perhaps Dreamers Anonymous.
SM: And yet here you are standing in a field talking to me. What do you expect? What makes you think all those things aren't part of it? What makes you think you're special and the only person who was ever called to do anything who has alternative demands on their time? Get over yourself and just be who you are. YOU ARE ALREADY DOING IT. And please stop with the labels and the team shirts and the definitions. When did that ever matter to you? When did you ever intuit or learn that giving something a label made it work better? Also? Forget being a role model. This is not about what you represent, it's about what you do. Let me through. Surrender. You are safe. You are exactly where I need you to be. And stop analysing this. You have no concept of who and what this is because you are human. Humans are wonderful and this world needs them to be their most wonderful, now more than ever. The laundry and the muddy floors and the fur and the moods...human. Please don't try to change that. To be human is to be chaotic and messy because what else would this degree of creativity bring with it? We need your creativity, your dreams and your crazy. Also your opposable thumbs.
Me:
SM: Oh at LAST. Are we good?
Me: *nods*
SM: Good. Okay then. Off you go. We love you.





22 comments:

  1. Oh yes. YES and thank you!

    And for the record ... Dreamers Anonymous? Do we have weekly meetings with good coffee? Can we carpool? xo

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    1. We can dream about it : ) x

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    2. since you're the Driver, can you swing round and pick me up? i'll bake cookies....vegan ones. naturally. :)

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    3. I'm dreaming of a community bus : )

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  2. Love this!!

    And it sounds like SM was channelling a bit of Dr Who on the subject of humans :)

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    1. SM. Sister Moon. Steven Moffat. Just sayin' : ) x

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  3. brilliant. utterly. fucking. brilliant.

    as you were, then.

    i had to chuckle....because we live in a similar state of perpetual chaos and distinct non-serenity.....and of course, SM is right....the mess is all part and parcel....*sigh*

    this is some good shit.

    "team shirts" *giggle*

    xoxoxo

    ps. edgewitch. definitely. maybe we could make up a new path.....with team shirts....*grin*

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    1. see? this is why i love you. xo

      and oh! for the love that all is holy...i'm NOT A FUCKING ROBOT.

      just sayin'.

      the Google Overlords. nuff said.

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  4. to you i humbly bow.

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  5. Completely brilliant.

    Can the Dreamers Anon community bus swing by mine? I'll be the one covered in fur, (not all of it my own), and bearing bags of chai.

    I'm going to re-read this. It's damned good medicine. xx

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  6. I have never met you face to face but, I hope, one day that will happen - possibly with Atrociful present too because why not cram all the awesome possible into one moment in time? - but I absolutely adore you. And I just wanted you to know. X

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    Replies
    1. How very excellent would that be? How very toil and trouble : ) And thank you...entirely mutual. And not just cos of Ronnie. x

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  7. Shall I put the kettle on? I got sweet potato brownies. Also where is the bus stop?

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    1. Sweet potato brownies?????? You get to be Chairperson which means you get the comfiest chair in the clubhouse. The bus stop is outside your door.

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  8. So great! And Sister Moon is hilarious!

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Thank you, I love it when we talk.